How to survive: "Costumer Service"

I got a Samsung laptop; a beautiful and nice one. 
The problem: Has less than a year and the battery doesn't work. Wont stay if I unplug the charger. HELLO! LESS THAN A YEAR. How i work with this computer?

I called Samsung technical support.

They told because was out of the warranty, they cant do anything, besides take my card to get a tech.
You know how it ended.


Of course, he is not god or something, but he can do things that the other mortals cannot do. He said the same script: He will more than glad to help me (lie) and he will check so i have to wait 2-3 minutes on hold...

When they do that, they are only 3 options:

  1. They are talking to another person.
  2. They are newborns and will ask to another person your case.
  3. they are looking info to help you.